Jump Start on the New Year

Since the past few months have been a toxic cocktail of stress, anxiety and depression, I came to the realization that I needed to let things go and use the time spent worrying and dwelling on things that cannot be changed, to make a real effort to do something positive for me. I managed to make myself quiet a nice list of projects to get myself back on track. Since my current employer is kind enough to allow us from December 23 through January 3 off, I thought what better time to start then right now.

My first task was to sign back up for Weight Watchers.  I have been inspired and awestruck by my friend Sheryl over the past couple of years, but yet never really was able to commit to a life change of this magnitude, that is until now.  I opted for attending meetings, feeling that it would force me to somehow have accountability and perhaps locate some will power.  The plan had changed since the last time I looked at it and I must say that I do really like the Points-Plus program and it has really helped me to focus on eating healthy and portion control rather than on comfort food and filling holes.  So far, it has been crazy easy to follow and surprisingly satisfying while leaving not an ounce of deprivation.

Since I had some time on my hands that did not require much human interaction, it gave me time to give myself a TCA peel.  I have had numerous peels over the years with my favorites being the medium level peels like a Jessner.  This time though I opted for a TCA from www.makeupartistchoice.com. I have used their products in the past and have been impressed with the quality and price of their products. I used the 8% TCA with a second boost coat and while I could have gone with a higher strength, it is always best to start slow and work your way up.  While I did not get a deep peel, I was pretty lizard like for a few days and my skin looks better than it did prior to the application.  I did notice some lightening of sun damage so it was a successful peel.

While these things may seem insignificant, I am starting to feel better and navigate myself out of the fog that has been my life over the past few months.

So for now, I am looking forward too and hopeful of 2011.

Elvis has left the building

It has been 46 days now.  46 days since I had to say goodbye to my sweet Elvis. I won't lie, It crushed me. It was if all of the people in my life who have meant so much to me, died all over again and at the same time.  It was all of that and more. It changed me, forever.

I have had dogs and cats my whole life, but please believe me when I say, this relationship was different.  I loved all of them, spoiled them rotten, but Elvis was more.  He came into my life when he was six weeks old and for the past 10 years had been my shadow, always within arms reach, always patiently at my feet and always loving me. If I was sick, or if I was sad he would comfort me in his quiet fashion. All big brown eyes and warmth. He would smile at me and he never passed up a chance for a hug or a kiss. Mostly, he was perfectly content and happy to just be with me.

As the years passed, he started to loose his sight, he slowed down as an aging dog would, but his love and his need to be with me, never changed.  He was loyal and had the biggest heart and no matter what, he would not fail in his mission. Until that one day, that day when he could not push past the pain and I had to let him go.

Each day that passes does not become easier, rather it becomes something else.  A new emotion.  I learned this when I lost my Father. I also know that the void will never be filled and at some point I will be able to look back with fond and cherished memories. But for now, I still cry, I miss him so very much and my feet are cold.